I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Barsexuality is the new black.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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