If that was your dad, he is hot
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
