moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it glows. i had to have it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
What a dumb baby whore.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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