Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
