yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
