soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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