After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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