this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
