so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
