This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
