I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
