Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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