Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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