She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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