I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
