I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The uberlube is also flammable
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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