It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Your cock deserves a montage
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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