it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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