but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
