At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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