I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My life is pants optional.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize