Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
