Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
