K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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