have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
