my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize