I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
