I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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