I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
