The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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