So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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