May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
