Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
even my farts smell like vagina
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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