Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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