You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Are we still banned from the library?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
