he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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