i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
