My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
