Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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