very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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