If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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