I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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