Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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