if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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