Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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