You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
