Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
