it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
