We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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