just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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