also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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