Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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