so explain again why im purple
no
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
