He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
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We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
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I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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