Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
