someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
