I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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